Wednesday, October 28, 2009

DEATH AS UNIFYING EVENT

Death as unifying event

The studies in the life and culture of the subaltern people are lacking in the country. More and more the country’s youth are attracted to the materialistic world aping the west. No youth can trace her/his genealogy beyond three generations yet they are conversant with the world events.
When my father died, I had the opportunity to observe the wonderful spirit of unity and togetherness among the community in the village.

On the day of burial/cremation, the son or grand son in case no sons to the deceased, must go to the common well of village along with his brothers-in-law and cousins from mother’s and father’s side as the case may be. The cousins and brothers in law would fetch water from the common well and bath the son/grand son of the deceased. Without drying, the son must walk through the streets to the place where the dead is kept for community respects. The water pots are once again filled in and brought to the house to bath the dead. This is to ensure that whatever disharmony exists among the cousins and brothers in law must end with the ritual.
Thereafter, the dead is bathed and kept ready to be taken to the church in case of Christians and to the burial ground in case of Hindus. Throughout the ceremony, the wet clothes worn by the son must not be removed.

On reaching the burial ground, the usual ceremony of breaking the pot is conducted. The pot one or more maximum three would be kept on the shoulders of the son who goes around the dead body thrice. Each time he crosses the body, the pot is poked once by the man who conducts the ceremony.
The near ones and blood relatives are asked to sprinkle the milk that is carried from home. Then the burial takes place. Later, the wet clothes of the son are removed and fresh clothes are given to the son by the man who conducts the ceremony.
The elder come around the son and consult the dates for the memorial service to be conducted on the 10th or 16th or 30th day. The moi ( a small amount of money) normally as low as possible is paid by each household to meet the funeral expenses. Thereafter, each one washes their face, hands and feet in the water available in the burial ground. The mourners walk back to the house to wash their feet once again enter the house to pay respect to the lamp that is lit alongside the photograph of the deceased. A simple food is arranged for the mourners. The crowd disperses after partaking in the food.
In the evening, after the sun set once again the mourners gather around in the house with small portions of cookies, eatables etc. These are collected in a small basket made of the palm leaves. A small prayer /invocation to the god is made. Thereafter, the cookies are distributed to the mourners. They then disperse without telling any one
Two things are clearly noticed in the ceremonies. One is the reconnecting and rejuvenating the bond among the cousins and brothers in law. A bond that lasts forever generations to come
The second one is that the spirit of unity expressed by the community to the bereaved family. To ensure that the bereaved family is not fully engulfed in the sorrow, the community gathers around to show their support and succor.

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